For the Bride & Groom
Essential tips to planning the perfect wedding

Grooms must never say simply, "whatever you want darling!".  One of you, or a relative, should become the beady eye (the bookkeeper), overseeing the budget.

Your wedding is likely to cost twice as much as you first imagined.

Every major expense always ends up costing more than we expect.  This is because we all add things we'd not initially considered we wanted or were aware we needed.  Most brides and grooms "shop in increments" and can lose sight of the overall cost.

This will enable you to keep in touch with each supplier.  It can either be an index card system in order of company name, a simple address book, or a database on a computer.  Obtain a copy of brochures and price lists from each supplier.  Check out their websites.

Craig-y-Nos Castle has an extensive list of some 160 local suppliers.  We can send you our list of contact names, addresses, phone numbers etc.  However we rarely make any recommendations on which particular suppliers to use as we find different personalities get on with different people.

You may be tempted to use a friend for some services. Maybe you know someone who bakes a good cake, or who takes excellent pictures.  our advise is DO NOT entrust anything of primary importance to a friend (unless you are prepared to lose your friend).

if you know a friend whom you hear is a good photographer, by all means invite them to take some extra photographs - they may come up with some good pictures.  However you must still hire a professional photographer to take the main pictures. If you know someone who bakes an excellent cake, by all means employ the to help with some of the Favours - but hire a professional for the Wedding Cake.

If you know a good singer, invite them to sing a couple of songs but don't make them the primary musician.

Involve friends only in non-primary services and only use established suppliers for the primary services.

How much will be Bride and Groom be paying?  How much will each parent be paying? Would any friends and relatives be able to make a contribution?

Are there any physical items that may be contributed by others - such as balloon displays, or floral displays?

Costs can be divided between Bride and Groom, perhaps with contributions from their respective parents as follows:

And costs may further be divided between the families or contributed to by the families as follows:

It's all in the PREPARATION.  Either you ask the supplier to put in writing what you have agreed, and the cost, or you can write to the supplier listing what you believe you have agreed, and the cost, and invite comment if they disagree.

This is your written 'contract' with your suppliers.  Otherwise there could well be differences between what you picture your day and what you get, which may spoil your day.  Be careful about suppliers promising something and then forgetting some essential detail of what you each discussed. This is human nature and it happens.  Avoid it by confirming everything in writing.

Create a standard text on your computer for letters confirming the details of your wedding.  Include this same text for every supplier before adding individual text specific to your arrangements with the supplier concerned. The standard text must have the following details:

(a)  Day, Date and venue for the wedding

(b)  Schedule for the Wedding Day (see later)

(c)  Names, addresses and phone numbers of all primary suppliers (photographer, florist, toastmaster, wedding planner at the venue itself) with whom the supplier you are writing to will or may need to liase.

(d)  Deposit required to secure booking of your supplier and once you have paid the deposit, the date you paid and the method of payment.

(e)  The specific requirements you have, of the supplier.

You may be required to pay a deposit to some suppliers.  If so, get a receipt.  You may in some cases be paying cash. In which case INSIST upon a written receipt and make a note of the name of the person you paid the cash to and the time and date.

Keep good records in case you are asked to prove you have made a payment.  A cash book would have the following columns:

(a)  Date,

(b)  Supplier name,

(c)  Method of payment - cheque, cash or credit card,

(d)  Amount paid.

Keep the same information on your files for each of your suppliers so you have a note of what you have paid them.  Make sure you have settled all your bills in advance of the wedding day.  You do not want to be writing out cheques on the day itself - or be chased up afterwards while on your honeymoon!

7.  Guest List: start with two separate lists - one for the Day 'do' & one for the Evening 'do' and be clear exactly who is coming to each, or both

Have a 'Day List' and an 'Evening List'.  The number of guests is going to affect expenses, especially catering and bar.

It is normal to have close family, close friends and close relatives for the Wedding Breakfast (the Day 'do') and wider family, friends, work colleagues etc for the Evening 'do' and Buffet, Disco etc.

You then have the main meal, the Wedding Breakfast, for far fewer people that the evening meal or Buffet.

How many can you afford to have overall?

How many can you afford to invite for the Wedding Breakfast?

How many do you want for the evening buffet?

Set a limit on the number of guests for the Bride and the Groom - a limit for each.

It is traditional for the Bride to have the higher proportion of guests.

Sit down separately and compile two sets of guests lists.  Start with two lists from the Bride - one for the Day List and one for the Evening List, and two lists from the Groom - one for the Day List and one for the Evening List.

Type the four guest lists into a single list and alphabetically sort them by surname first, first name or initial second, so you can delete people you've counted twice.

Your list should be on a spreadsheet, with surname appearing first for alphabetical sorting and removal of duplicates.  Beside each name have a column showing whether they are a guest of the Bride or Groom, so you can count up the number for each.

Next, have a column for 'Day' , a column for 'Evening', and a column for 'Both' so you know which guests are coming to the Day do, which are coming to the Evening do, and which are coming to both.  Example:

Do not assume that all your 'Day' guests will also be present in the evening.  Some Day Guests may not 'last' or wish to stay on for  the Evening do.  A wedding that can start at 11.00am and finish at after midnight is a long day for some guests.

Note that while the majority of guests for the 'Day List' will attend. being close friends and relatives, typically 10% to 15% of the 'Evening List', comprising of less close friends and acquaintances, may not show up in the evening.

Add up your Day List and check this number is within your budget for the Wedding Breakfast. If not, select which guests you can move to the Evening list.

Creating this list will really help you budget for your Wedding Breakfast catering and your Evening Buffet.

Remember that catering accounts for at least 50% of your Wedding Budget.  So it is important to be highly accurate on your guest lists both for the day and the evening.

Craig-y-Nos Castle has noticed some couples over estimating attendance for the evening buffet, with restaurant wastage in food/money.

To minimise wastage, ask for RSVPs to invitations and a couple of weeks before, have someone do a last minute telephone check on who is coming.

You could then introduce two additional columns to your spreadsheet: 'RSVP Rcvd' and 'Telephone Confirmation Done'.

It is worth getting someone to do this for you.

Providing you let the caterers know in time (giving at least 6 days notice) you may be able to amend your catering commitments. On the day it will be too late as a caterer will have to charge per meal prepared, whether or not consumed.